Thanks to Greg, I was able to land a job working for a local CPA, Mary Clark. The timing was perfect as the job would conclude with the end of tax season in April, after which I could resume my traveling. The job involved answering the phone, making appointments, organizing client information, and helping out with miscellaneous tasks. Now, at that point in time, I knew just enough about the US tax system to get my 1040 done each spring and pray I wrote everything on the correct lines, so I was a bit nervous to step into this position. I wasn’t going to be doing any of the tax work myself, but I was going to have to learn about it in order to enter data and help clients. I was excited as well because I am a nerd, and learning anything new appeals to me. I know that economics makes the world go round and I figured this opportunity to learn more about the system would alone be worth the time.
So, as it turns out, I reeeeeally like running an office, although it kind of brought out the extremely anal-retentive tendencies I apparently posses. Plus, it satisfied my secret affinity for office supplies. Every time I enter a Staples store I have to intensely resist the temptation to buy one of everything. THE ORGANIZATIONAL POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!!!! I don’t know if you remember me talking about having a full conversation with a friend in Burlington, VT about what type of pen to buy, but this time I had all the pens, paper, staplers, post-its, hole punchers, and random knick-knacks than I could dream of!!! It was beautiful, and I very easily settled in to having my own desk.
What scared me, was the phone…
For whatever reason, be it a previous bad experience or just phone phobia, I have the hardest time gathering the courage to call strangers for any reason whatsoever. Not even just strangers. I don’t even like having to call the dentist office to make an appointment. Something about it makes me so anxious that my mouth experiences some sort of paralysis leaving me completely incapable of speaking like a normal human being. So this time, not only was I calling complete strangers because I was getting paid to and therefore had to, I had to do it with a boss listening in the other room. I made sure to thoroughly grill her beforehand about what I should and shouldn’t’ say on the phone, but the first two months I worked there, the phone freaked me out. I was so afraid of not knowing the answer to a question or messing up a message. I definitely left some interesting voicemails. When I am not sure what to say, I involuntarily slide into random accents... So I'm pretty sure some of Mary's clients thought that a Russian/British/metrosexual gangster worked for her.
After a few weeks, I finally confessed this horribly pathetic issue with Mary, who was very surprised. Apparently I didn’t sound as much like an idiot as I thought, and she reassured me that I never had to answer anything I wasn’t sure about. She was probably just being nice because she felt bad for the college degree equipped mess in front of her, but she encouraged me to ask her as many questions as I wanted and to double check anything I felt necessary. She was so relaxed and seemingly sure about my capability to not mess things up, that I began to believe her, and I started making progress. I began speaking with more authority, knew how to respond to demanding requests, and even solidified my answering phrase, “Good morning, Mary Clark’s office, this is Claire!” I also got to know the clients better and became more familiar with their situations. I started joking with them on the phone and asking them about how their lives were going, if their dog was still sick, if their child got into that college, or how their vacation to the Western Fast Draw Association championships went. As the weeks went on, I slowly but surely began to master my position and my phobia, and it felt really good.
I have gained an intense appreciation for anyone who has the brain to keep track of all the information the IRS sends out each year. Mary is amazingly good at her job. She see’s each tax return like a puzzle, and it excites her to figure it out. Although I can’t say I share the same enthusiasm, I am extremely glad she loves her work, because I sure as hell couldn’t do it. What I did really enjoy doing was bookkeeping. I learned how to work with Quickbooks and was able to keep basic financial records for some of her clients. It brought out the perfectionist in me, maybe to a bit of an unhealthy extreme. It would drive me crazy if an account didn’t reconcile because it was off by $0.15, and I would scour the account for the mistake until I found it. I wish I could have seen myself. I probably looked like a mutant Igor scowling while craning my face towards the screen and grumbling at the numbers under my breath.
Mary is a wonderful boss. She and I spent many an afternoon discussing life while she procrastinated or waited for her next appointment. I was her listener as she verbally worked out tax problems I usually didn’t understand or had a funny story to tell about her grandson. Thanks to her patience, I learned a lot. Maybe more than I wanted to know… because it made me aware of just how much there is to be aware of and to understand in order to be a financially savvy taxpayer. I don’t think I could be a CPA, but I now know that understanding at least the surface of the American tax system is invaluable and a crucial element to anyone's future.
To close, I will share two of my fondest office memories:
1. One morning, I walked by Mary’s office on my way to the kitchen and saw her opening her windows as was part of the typical morning routine. On my way back I heard, “No! No, no, no, no!!” I leapt to her door, and there was Mary, leaning towards the window, her sweater jacket being devoured by the paper shredder! I just stood there with my mouth open, not sure what to do or say. She finally managed to stop the machine and reverse out the fabric, but the damage was done. It looked like something had decided to take a huge chomp out of her sweater. After a stunned moment of silence, we both just started laughing. It was so unbelievably ridiculous and unlikely a scenario that she wasn’t even angry. She joked that she should tell her clients that she just got really hungry. She had a free hour before her next appointment, so she went off to change at home, but ended up returning with a new version of the same sweater she happened to find at the mall. No one would have ever known. She did make a cover for that paper shredder though, just in case.
2. Before the start of what was probably going to be a particularly stressful and arduous phone meeting, Mary was feeling a bit nervous and stressed. We had gone over what she wanted to say and how she wanted to say it, but I could tell she was still anxious. So, wanting to provide her with a little confidence and humor, I went to my desk and quickly crafted sword out of a file folder and presented it to her along long with some go get-um’ words and a pirate ARR!! After the meeting she came out very pleased with how everything went, still holding the sword! She smiled saying that as she laid out her demands she brandished the sword about with each sentence, not allowing herself to falter! I couldn't have been more proud! Never underestimate the confidence boosting power of imagination.
Thanks Mary.
Thanks Mary.
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